Dating Mishaps

Dating Mishaps

I wish i had a time  machine so i could go back in time and tell my baggy jean wearing dorky teacher’s pet that ‘don’t try to hard’ dating success isn’t about you being fluent in Mandarin. I have a pretty long list of things i will never do again now but if i was sixteen I would unashamedly do, like ask my best friend to tell him that i think his heart is beating in sync with mine and his breath is so herbal and not to mention liking rugby because he played first team rugby.

I  have done some pretty shameful things because i was in deep like but in my defense no one ever told me that he would expect me to show up at his every game and pretend to enjoy myself when his body is tossed up in the air like a boomerang. Listen to me now ,don’t stalk his or her Facebook or twitter before you have gone on thirty seven dates just in case you ask about the July 9th wedding you were never invited to.

Why didn’t someone tell me that telling a guy that you like so much that your friend he is interested in is dating the boy next door with the rabies infested dog just so he can ask you out never works .It is not only demeaning to your friend but you have knowingly double stabbed her with a knife that you can’t take back and you can’t confess even if your pants are on fire.

If someone  was to ever read my texts they would knee slap laugh their ass off because i am guilty of three way texting.I remember when i got my first boyfriend and i didn’t know what to say and every time i thought i was flirting i was in actual fact scaring a guy’s pants off ( i apologize Johnny) .So I then solved my own dilemma and included my friend and before I replied Johnny in Westgate I would text Highfield and wait for her reply before I actually replied johnny.It was like that for a while till i realized i was stifling the real me because i was scared of being a Harare Horror Story.


Ancillar has a ridiculous sense of humor and is on a mission not to melt in sunshine city .

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