Somewhere far away, I was on my couch at two in the morning sipping Robertson’s red wine and belting to ‘It could have been love’ in my horsy voice. I could clearly see his face as I scrolled down and reread for the twentieth time his messages as if my mind could magically conjure him to existence. I gave my body the stare down in the mirror as if I had magically turned into a baboon and satisfied the theory of evolution because in my small mind something had to be wrong with me for him not to like Amai’s  untamed beauty.

I have been that teary sad girl in the movie, with an injured heart and a hundred percent certainty that getting over him is far from possible. We all have been infatuated and I am going to give it to you because if it is unrequited love it sucks twice more than the nerdy awkward guy that has a crush on you.

So let’s call my crush Tonderai, because he is the kind of guy that you likely not to forget easily because he is easy on the eyes. You cannot blame me for being whisked away from reality when I met him after all my last crush was in Form 1 and lets agree to say that it did not go well for me. Tonderai had these gorgeous hazel eyes, great sense of and an uncanny ability to solve any mathematical problem .Yes; he had a great body too!

I love university because of the vast opportunities that are there and it was through my student interaction that I met him. We met by mistake or fate you take your pick but I remember him stopping me, and saying ,”I absolutely love the hairstyle” and I just gave him what I thought to be my warmest smile. We started talking and I loved his sense of humor and in my mind we were a perfect fit.

I had often heard people say that even good things come to an end and now I agree with whoever said that. I only knew that the tingling sensation in my toes and the smile perched on my lips when I saw him was that I was ‘infatuated’ when he fell for my friend. Every time we would meet he would tell me how sexy my friend was and how he was going to pull all the stops till he got her.

My little heart was heartbroken even though he had never told me that he liked me and overnight I became the ‘DUFF’ (designated ugly fat friend) and I wasn’t even fat. He pumped me for information and I willingly gave because I was torn and I could never hate my friend for a crush that would eventually go away. But for a while I hated myself and thought an Alien abduction happened while I was young and left me disfigured and not pretty enough.

I eventually got over it and I can now hang out with him and trust me hanging out with him is like eating a stale doughnut .The tingling sensation is so yesterday and now that I can see more clearly I realize that we would never have been a perfect fit.

So prowlers it’s normal to crush and especially at college but just because he doesn’t feel the same way doesn’t mean you an ogre. Live for the moment,experience the crush but don’t over think your smart brain about it.






Ancillar has a ridiculous sense of humor and is on a mission not to melt in sunshine city .

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