Dirty Little Secrets

Dirty Little Secrets

Many guys feel like watching a romantic movie is something to be ashamed of or embarrassed by. I disagree to an extent. One of my friends is a closet romantic hence he has watched the Notebook sixty seven times and he does not seem to be slowing down and his girlfriend has not discovered that ‘horrible secret’ yet. We all have secrets, some that make us cringe at night and others tightly shut in our journals hidden from known existence. I believe that at one point in time we all have been someone’s dirty little secret or know someone that has been a secret.

I know someone that has been a secret and this is her story:

“I used to be his dirty little secret. That’s right. Not because I was shy, confused but just plain stupid. Who in their right mind would willingly settle to being a secret that only the shadows know of than the girl who he will share to the world? I ask myself again and again every time I thought of how I was his dirty pile of clothes in the laundry bag he hid from his peers. I do not know how I got to be his secret.

Hot Chocolate and I were like fire and ice.Hot Chocolate was a tall bottle of rippled muscles and hazelnut eyes while I looked like a blow dried ruffled up fur blanket. We would hang out as his house him in his Adidas boxers and me in Winnie-the –Pooh jammies. His idea of hanging out was us slouched on his couch and watching reruns of Friends and his friends could have well lived in China as I never met them.

If we ever went anywhere together, he would introduce me as his cousin that had a severe disorder of speech and he never held my hand .In private he was my Midsummer Night’s dream as he would shower me with compliments and kisses but in public he would be the cute football captain in the movie and I was the awkward nerd that had a crush on him.

For a while I let him keep me in a secret because I was naive and he was a shy boy with a pen and guitar. I never spoke up because in my small mind who would date the buck-teethed, baggy-wearing awkward young women that had never been kissed. I eventually grew up from awkward to self -respecting and I left him. It hurt for a bit and I am proud to say I am no longer someone’s secret”.

One wise little birdie told me that we are all allowed to make mistakes when we are young as we learn from our mistake. Just because you were his dirty little secret at one time, it does not mean you should always beat yourself up.


Ancillar has a ridiculous sense of humor and is on a mission not to melt in sunshine city .

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