“Hi…Welcome to the twisted mind of a teenage girl. If your’e reading this it means you’re trespassing because this is private and confidential. If your’e still reading this it means you have no respect for my privacy and you probably think i do not deserve it but page 9, section 12 of my human rights book says i have the right to privacy…”
What a dramatic first entry into my second diary. Owing to, probably, that time in boarding school when my “Friends” read my first diary and decided to depose me for my not so polite thoughts about them. But in all fairness, as far as friendships go… The relationships i made in boarding school did not survive my transfer of schools. In the era of smartphones that says a lot about the quality of friendships. I did learn a lot from these friends and was sad to say goodbye but let’s face it…People grow up and grow out of each other.
But that’s besides the point, Lets explore my diary entry for a bit.
So why was i so obsessed with privacy and being respected. I used to think the term “terrible teens” was unjustified and downright rude but now that i think about it…Most of my entries from then are unjustified and downright rude! I am a passionate individual by nature but maan back in the day everything was heightened. . I look at it know and think oh wow i have been through so much more than the stuff i wrote and i’m still standing.
My argument with my mom over her taking my phone, which never rang by the way, because hers was dead and she needed one for the time being seems so silly now. I even called her request unethical. Haha! Unethical…really? And as if unethical was not crazy enough i went on to write that i had been “temporarily emotionally scarred” by the whole experience…Seriously though what was i thinking. I guess i can blame it on the “Hormones.” And judging from what i wrote about the phone it must have been pretty cool. I don’t know…I really don’t remember.
Looking back i am not as hard headed as i was (that’s not to say am still not hard headed) This read down memory lane got me thinking. If i am about to face a confrontation or go through something or about to do something, Suppose in the midst of all the chaos I managed to take a step back and look into the future to a time when i am all grown up and full of wisdom, sitting on my bed reminiscing, reading my diary from my twenties. Am i still going to stand by what i wrote? When i was tattering on about my mom in my diary (all those years ago) if i had looked into the future and thought about this moment would i have tattered on. Knowing me, I probably ate very little supper that day out of protest. Would i still miss out on whatever we ate that day, I LOVE MY FOOD SO THAT’S A SERIOUS QUESTION…. I’m just now starting to realize that things are never as bleak as they seem. Especially in the moment. A lot of unnecessary experiences can be avoided if i take a step back and think of what grown up me would think of little me.
Can you think of something that you were passionately taken by in the past? Do you still stand by it? Please share your story, I’d like to know.