Triangular-shaped butterflies fluttering in my stomach woke me up on the big day –not my wedding day obviously as I am just another college going, finish-school-before-marriage Africana. I filled my overnight bag with a change of clothes, my roommate’s make-up kit and a flash disk full of make-up tutorials as I would need them in a few hours without a doubt. The plan was simple, I’d stay at my boyfriend’s place for the weekend and I would only come back Monday afternoon just in time for English 101 –I kid you not. My Mr. Darcy came to pick me up and my roommate kept dragging me into hugs smelling of Boom and a dash of excitement .She had been dishing out advice ever since she found out that I was going to sleep at my boyfriends–I can safely say –her binge reading of Cosmopolitan came in handy .I tried to smile and not squeeze her hand but before I could she squeezed me again and said ‘be sure, love’.
I bit my lip to stop myself from crying because I wasn’t sure about anything. That moment I felt like Chris brown in the video “Don’t judge me” and so there was no way I was crying and having mascara streaking down my face. I was going to war and I had my battle gear ready –they say college is a time for discovery and a time for mistakes and a whole lot of oops moments. This reminded me of my eighteen year old self that always thought about school, school and the occasional sex .I remember that time when I was a naïve young girl and sex wasn’t exactly a girl-friendly topic that you would want to be caught talking about or the cosmopolitans we hid under our bed because our mothers were too ‘black’ to understand how this taboo topic in our household was exciting.
The guys didn’t even have it better, some invented countless tales about all the ‘girls’ that they had gotten freaky with and with that said, Andrew “where is freaky Connie –the girl none of us ever met”? Sex might have been taboo back then but now that I am in college –it has become normalized like our peanut butter sandwich that ambuya makes .Although sex is talked about and a whole lot opportunities involved –nobody talks about the one thing that still exists and yes she could be the person you share a room with or your lab partner .YES! We not talking about the chap that Harry Potter couldn’t say out loud but rather the endangered species (I kid )-virgins.
This is a phenomenon in itself and these are the girls that we most frequently text “ don’t wait too long or you will end up with just cats for companion’ and if you come from the same part of the world as me ,you occasionally sending them ‘3 days of breaking anti-marriage crusades flyers’ . I cannot help but wonder whether we have become a generation so obsessed with sex that we use our choice barometers as standards for everyone .It has become a misconception that everyone in college is ‘hooking- up’ and thus a relationship without the ‘cookie’ is just but a boring one.
Back in the day, being a virgin before marriage set you apart from the immoral women that had a starring role in 50 shades of Grey. There was so much pressure on women to be morally upright and no pressure on the same men and nowadays there seems to be so much pressure for most guys to not sleep with one as they are afraid of her becoming a ‘stage-seven clinger’. I can’t help but wonder whether all college going students have the same opinions. There are so many conceptions about what’s acceptable and not and my thoughts and other collegiate’s are for another day .Now back to my story….
What is that they say: what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas
Till next time lovies !