Reflecting on what you could be or where you should be, but neglecting who you are and where you are right now.…
“Dying inside the hollow of her silence,
Her eyes drenched in tears that never seem to dry…
…constantly flowing down her face
slowly turning into the only make-up she ever wears.
Her heart is constantly pierced by the thought of her own disappointment…
…from her efforts that continuously go unnoticed,
or never seem to be adequate for her liking.
Failing to remember that;
Her destiny is only determined by her undying spirit,
Her journey is meant to come with the highs and lows…
as hard as they may sometimes seem to be.
Each time the world seems to take its toll on her,
Giving up always seems to be the only option…
Who can blame her?
When you’re so used to being;
A backbone for others,
A helping hand to the needy,
A shoulder to cry on…to lean on,
The strength of everyone but herself…”

How many times in your life have you ever felt like you don’t quite like your life or whatever it is that you are embarking on does not really fulfill your heart’s desires? How often do you feel that giving up is the only option you have? I could say, I’m among the many people who have reached that point once, too many times but the beauty of it all is that, there came a point in my life where it all just got too weary and changing my perception of ‘here and now’ was the only option I chose to have.

See, life hurls multitudes of things our way all the time and to be quite honest, it doesn’t make it any easier that I had to be a female. There’s growing up as a young girl, completely clueless of what life might still have in store for you, to experiencing a phase that has you making a bit of an abrupt turn in your life, we identify that phase as adolescence. Then there is the growing bit, the era of our big girl panties. Where the world expects us to be strong, mature, independent, vulnerable, successful women amidst the many uneven challenges we face. We all have our personal experiences with the varying phases of our lives and we may be so caught up trying to escape, we miss the lessons they come with.

Take a moment to reflect on all those hardships you have ever had to endure throughout the many phases in your life and try to make sense of why you even got past them or even dealt with them so that your life could keep moving. Now, try to relate that to whatever you may be faced with now and ask yourself what could possibly be stopping you from overcoming any obstacles you might be confronted with at this present moment in your life.

There is a hidden beauty behind all the tough times we are sometimes expected to go through and yes, there’s no other way around them than through them because we may never grow to appreciate ever having being at our weakest, when all we know is our strongest point. There is no making sense of why you might constantly be at your lowest, feel that you’re not making the most of your life, everyone else is doing better than you, why your life choices seem to always work against you and all this deceit we seem to effortlessly channel our minds to fall for. It is a trap that we often fail to even break free from, simply because our thoughts manifest into our lives and trust me, that is one trap no-one can truly ever reel you out of because it is one you create within the confines of your own mind.
One thing I’ve grown to realise is that, we always strive to be the best and we only ever want to give what’s best of us, but who said that will ever make us gain the perfection we have been deceived into believing is even attainable? Maybe if we learned to appreciate who we are right now more and make the most of where we even are, we wouldn’t be too stressed out by why we haven’t attained that qualification, why we aren’t living in that luxury apartment or driving the latest car, why we don’t have that job or position yet, why life seems to be working completely against us and not in our favour. The conspiracy of the universe against us only ever comes about as a lesson none of us are ever really prepared for, as we are too used to receiving the lesson before the test and forget that life always dishes out all the tests before we can gain the lesson behind them.

The manual for life is only drafted as we go through our lives, no matter who might offer what advice or insight into their experiences, another person’s experiences are merely that, their experiences and in order for you to make much sense of them is through undergoing something of a similar nature yourself.

We need to become the kind of women who not only learn to encourage each other, but encourage ourselves too. We tend to focus too much on being there for others and failing to realise that we also need ourselves more than others do. As selfish as that might seem, it is seriously needed from time to time!
Stop caring about who is saying what and start worrying about what it is that you’re doing to even change that perception or misconception about yourself. Life will take multiple shots at you, but you know what? You have it in you to always come out stronger, so keep brushing off these minor setbacks. At the end of the day, they are meant to build you up, although they might knock you to a point where you feel that they are only breaking you down.

You are woman! You are strength! You are still here!
So, be you now, relentlessly so!

– @nkulicia


I am a young, South African-born lady, who is passionate about writing. I am currently in my final year at the University of South Africa, pursuing a Bachelor of Arts in Political Leadership and Citizenship.

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