The Prospect of love both baffles me and makes me have moments of deep thinking where I often wonder if it is what I need right now. See the normal setup incorporates relationships as having the perfect foundation for having a successful career. You might be asking yourself why?
Here is a thought, why do they say that behind a successful man is a woman?
This is why, 9 out of 10 men do everything they do to make a certain woman in their life happy. It might be the woman in your life right now, your mother or just the number of girls you could actually get after you become successful. So at the end of the day, the basic male specimen does all he does for an actual woman.
So we might not want to admit it but yes, we are all women-oriented.
But back to the idea of love itself. I cannot for the life of me find it these days.
The reason being, my closest female friends say that I have become too selective. They say it would be harder to acquire the woman I want these days because women have changed more.
Let me enlighten you on the qualities I seek maybe this will ease the curiosity.
1). She has to have a plan for her life. Not in the sense of FIND LOVE, HAVE KIDS, GET MARRIED & DIE EVENTUALLY. (Not in that particular order). But I mean in regards to the kind of career she wants and her goals professionally. I do not want her to sacrifice what she wants for what I want, instead I want us to merge our goals and have our action plan for all of this.
2). She has to be herself. I am a typical nerd, yes I have a comic book collection and I geek out at all kinds of things. But I also have a cool macho side to me which I always bring out when necessary. Just like me I want her to be herself too. If she is a girlie girl then she does not have to change to resemble me but I want her to be comfortable to be all she wants, if she gets all mooshie when she sees a baby or a tiny dog or when she sees rainbows then fair enough, I want all of her in that sense.
3). I want her to be able to look at me and say that I might be a little rough around the edges but she sees the potential in me. Because surely, I will see that in her too. Because no-one is a perfect human being but it is in these differences that we find our similarities and find the possibility to both grow.
4). She has to be in-touch with her creative side. The institution of marriage constitutes that we will be together forever so if we are not creative, we will fall victim to habits and eventually find each other boring, so rather we both always find ways to surprise ourselves with what we can bring into what we have. I always want to find beauty in what we have even when we are old and grey or darker.
5). She has to love, love and forgive the men in her past. I know it’s a lot to ask for from a woman to forgive and forget what the last guy did to her but the reason why it is important is when we forgive our last person we never compare our new person to our last. Wise fact, it is actually advisable to forgive Exs then friend-zone them so that even the thought or prospect of engaging in forbidden habits that would hurt either one of us should not occur.
6). She needs to love her family. I know our backgrounds are different and we often find it easy to hate family than strangers but in as much as we hate them we also have to love them equally. If I see how you are with your family then I will trust you will be like that with mine too because the same way I will treat my family is how I will treat ours too.
So these are the terms and conditions that I always throw around. It is not a lot to ask for but In some women’s eyes it seems a lot. (lol). But these make the whole institution of love a favorable one in my eyes. But I guess this is how one man sees the world.
By Mandla Ginger